Civility: It’s not what but how
In 1530, Desiderius Erasmus wrote On Civility in Children — a book of manners for schoolboys. On the surface, it’s all elbows off tables and don’t speak with your mouth full. But under the hood, it’s something else entirely: a quietly radical guide to how attention, tone, and timing shape influence.
Erasmus understood what many marketers and salespeople still forget. That persuasion starts long before a message is delivered. That people notice how something is said just as much as what is being said. That respect is not a soft value. It’s the architecture of receptivity.
His message is simple: if you ignore the company you’re in, they’ll ignore you right back.
What a 16th-century etiquette manual can teach us about persuasive messaging
This isn’t just social advice. It’s strategic counsel for communicators. Whether you’re writing a sales page, leading a product launch, or building a brand voice, you’re always making an impression — the only question is whether you’re managing it.
Erasmus teaches us that tone is not decoration. It’s direction. Manners, in his view, are not about deference. They’re about signal: a way to show you’ve noticed your audience and calibrated accordingly. That’s what makes it so relevant to modern GTM strategy.
So the next time your message isn’t landing, run a quick Erasmus check:
Have you tuned your voice to the moment?
Are you assuming too much of your audience?
Are you arriving with welcome, or barging in?
Civility isn’t old-fashioned.
It’s message design in disguise.
Top takeaways for clear communicators:
1. Your message is never neutral.
Erasmus insists that every gesture, tone, and word contributes to how others interpret you. That's true for founders, marketers, and GTM teams too. You're always making an impression — the only question is whether you're managing it.
2. Don’t default to clever. Default to clear.
He’s not asking for flowery language or performative humility. He’s asking you to make the other person feel like you respect their time, worldview, and attention span. That’s what persuasive brands do.
3. Anticipate the moment.
Erasmus drills into the importance of timing — when to speak, when to be silent, when to listen. This aligns directly with P Score’s Kairos (timeliness/relevance) layer. It’s not just what you say. It’s when and how you choose to say it.